Ariel's Codepink Journal Part II

so i left you all with thoughts of Tim the solider. So there I am in Downtown Cleveland talking to Tim who just got back from Iraq. it doesnt get realer than this. He talks to me about the pain he saw and how angry he is and how wrong he believes the war is. He told me he is voting for Kerry and thinks Bush has made a huge mistake in sending us to war. He has seen mass devistation and has faced the threat of death and is trying now to figure out how to fit back into this society that is walking around like nothing is happening over seas. On the plane over to Iraq Tim tells me that young people 18-30 were freaking out and worried and vomiting with anxiety about whats to come. The second they hit the ground, they could smell the smoke from bombs and see entire areas destroyed. Tim faced moments of standing incredibly still holding his gun wondering when he would get killed. He faced times on missions where he was convinced it was the end. He became scared and tense of the enemy and he himself was forced to kill people he didnt even know. These are the horrors of war. But these horrors do not end upon coming home. His close friend from the army is living with him now in Cleveland and suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He wakes in the middle of the night in a sweat screaming and freaking out believing that he is under attack, about to get killed. Any loud sound reminds him of bombs and gun shots. Tim himself does not face PTSD in the same way, but he has a new hatred in his heart he never had before. He told me that before going to the army he never considered himself racist and lived amongst people of varying races and never thought to hate anyone. Now being in Iraq he feels uncomfortable around people from the middle east, he is reminded of those who tried to kill him and those he was forced to kill. He doesnt want it to be this way, but his body gets nervouse and tense around people from middle eastern decent now. He is angry that he had to serve in Iraq. He joined the military to have enough money to get a higher education. college was important for him, as it is for so many people. And like so many people Tim did not have the money to go. However, the military promised in exchange for his service the money to go to college. So many of our youth are being recruited to serve in the military and the only reason they are going is because they are promised things like education and money and resources. Most of our youth who are recruited come from inner city neighborhoods. The army goes into high schools and targets graduating seniors of poor neighborhoods. They know people want an education and they know this is a way to rope people in. Does this sound fair? so who is in Iraq fighting this war? young kids who wanted an education and couldnt afford it. i am sure they are not thrilled with the education the war is giving them. Tim felt forced into the situation he was in. He had no idea when he joined the army that he would end up in Iraq. He joined long before the Iraq war started. The military has hold over you for 28 months after you are discharged. Tim says "its like being free, but in jail." at anytime the military can still call him up for service or send him back to Iraq or any other country we attack. Now Tim is in Cleveland and he feels like the war is not worth it. He has seen too much pain and violence and feels like the military has given him nothing in return. He still has four more months to serve. He will spend those months ironically as a military recruiter. He says he hates the idea of young kids not knowing what they are getting into. but this is his job and he can't get out of it. He needs to finish his four months and the military has given him the responsiblity of recruiting. Its a catch 20-20 because Tim knows exactly what recruiting can lead to, yet he needs to make money. For every person he recruits the army pays him. Tim has to finish out his service and like all of us he needs to make money to eat. So what is he supposed to do? he says he trys to tell kids what they will be facing, that its not a walk in the park and he tells them what to expect, which no one did for him when he was 18. Tim is looking foward to a time when he can finally be free from the army. However, his life has been biterly changed by the war. While he was away his parents did not know for 8 months if he was alive or dead. The toll it took on them was intense. He returned home to learn his parents have gotten a divorce and blame most of their problems on Tim being in Iraq and the pain and stress it caused them. Tim will be exercising his right to vote on Nov. 2 and hoping like so many of us that Bush gets fired. its time for kerry and its time for me to get off the computer. Im on borrowed library time.

sending out much love light tea mugs and more miles to go as we enter florida,
Ariel